Smoke

I stood with her, ankle deep in snow

On the pavement, outside her non-smoking flat 

Our noses red, our cheeks flushed, cold

Talking about life, between wisps of smoke. 

It made us cool, it made us bond

It was an antidote to our existential angst

We were lost, we wanted to be found 

And find ourselves, in wisps of smoke 

Then sometimes, in spartan bedrooms 

In the after-glow of oxytocin

Wondering if this is all there is, 

Planning break ups, in wisps of smoke 

Sometimes lost, all alone, gazing out of the window

Watching the moonlight bounce off snow 

Thinking of ending this chain of breath 

And changing my mind, in wisps of smoke 

On the balcony among potted plants 

Basil, cilantro, rosemary and thyme 

With the man I call my man, in a home I call my home

Taking a break, in wisps of smoke 

Is this all there is to me? Have I lived it all? 

Would I repeat myself, if I keep doing it over? 

When love ceases to be, and the breath becomes heavy, 

I'll be gone, in wisps of smoke.